Sunday Driver

The crew of the Normandy sat on the ship's mess, eating breakfast. Garrus Vakarian, nibbled at some nuts made for Turian physiology while the other enjoyed a bowl of their favorite cereal.

"Miss Lawson-" said Garrus.

She cut him off with a raised hand, "Call me Miranda. This is not a military vessel."

Garrus tilted his head toward Shepard. She nodded. "Sure. Miranda, I noticed this ship doesn't carry a Mako."

Tali jumped into the conversation, "Keelah! Thank the ancestors! I remember that thing. What was the Alliance thinking when they built a vehicle that could ride up the side of a mountain?"

"I don't think the Alliance meant for anyone to drive it up the side of a mountain. But then again, I don't think the designers were counting on Shepard's driving it!" said Garrus.

The others laughed.

"You're right Garrus, if they thought someone would use the retro-rockets on in to launch themselves from mountain tops to  the valley floor below they would have scrapped that thing," said Tali.

"Well, this ship is bigger than its predecessor and wasn't built for planetary assaults," said Miranda.

"Thanks the spirits! I know humans like roller-coasters, but if they are half as crazy as Shepard's driving-"

"Garrus?" growled Shepard from her end of the table.

"-I would never pay to ride one. I guess is true what they say about human female drivers." asked Garrus.

The laughter stopped. At that moment Joker, data pad in hand, pivoted as fast as his brittle bones would let him and he hobbled back to the cockpit. Jacob choked on a mouthful of soggy flakes. Miranda's eyes grew wide. All eyes were on Shepard's face. Her usual fair complexion matched her dark red hair.

Miranda got up first, "I have check a couple of personnel files."

Jacob put aside the cereal bowl, "Time for my morning crunches."

"I don't get it?" said Tali, looking about as everyone abandoned the table. "Well, I'll be down in engineering if you need me. Donnelly asked me for some recalibration tips to the drive core. See you."

Although Garrus didn't get exactly what he did wrong, he knew he had screwed up, "Jenn, I was only joking. I didn't mean to-"

"We are on a first name basis now, Garrus?"

"Sorry, I'll let you eat," he grabbed a handful of berries and got up.

"Garrus," said Shepard still seated, "as Miss Lawson pointed out, this may not be a military ship, but I'm still in command. What you said was rude and extremely sexists. Would you have said something like that a female superior officer in C-Sec or in the Turian military?" She fixed him with her eyes.

"Of course not, but this is not the Turian military or the Alliance. This is completely different..." her eyes did not waiver, "but you're right, you don't need me to undermine your authority. May I be excused?"

"Of course," she looked down on her bowl, "at least you don't have to worry about fixing the damn thing after every trip planet side."

Garrus spotted the ghost of a smile underneath the crimson shadow of Shepard's hair. "Yeah, the front right wheel was always a bit out of whack. Well, I got to get back to work." Which he did, with a spring in his step, as the humans say.